its been a long time hiatus.

I guess that the cycles of thinking that I will be single till dunno when is coming along at the same time last year...lolz..y every early of the year, I feel the same thing??? I am amused by myself.

After reading through about what I had posted long before my hiatus, it makes me laughed at myself, sometimes , making things so childish and immature. I guess I have outgrown myself bit by bit.

I always admire those individual who are willing to take the risk to start their own business with little money they had.I really hope that someday I will do that =)

As for now, I want to abstain from something, if not, it will hurt my future and my live so deeply, that I cant get out from it anymore. God HELP me.

On a random notes, it's important that I am able to stand on my two feet at work because the two seniors are going away for a very long hols and left me alone to stand for DST. Goodness, GOD HELP ME AGAIN. Please teach me and I will lean on you.

My room is almost done with the cupboard, and my bed and my L-shape table. My dream came true , I always wanted one room by myself. Now it's happening, thank you Father for making it happen.I am truly excited for my new room and I wish that after all the handwork and the planing, I hope that my family can enjoy the creation of the wonderful home. I cant wait to take picture of the whole new house that we have tiredly sources for contractor to make our dream plan into reality.

=) Happy me.

half of my love story not completed

seeing my friends getting married one by one, I heard a cry in my heart that I am still single, I do not call for desperate measure to go out for man hunt, but it's hurt me to see that others have another half to lean on when you need a favour and you can return a favour. I have none.

This thoughts does not cheer me up. It makes me cry alot. I still waiting for the right person to come.

God , you will lead the way.

Shit does happen

Today mark the second day of my unusual encounter with you.
it's my 1st , and I have given up it for you.
and thanks to you. I am feeling so painful deep down.
guilty as judge. Yes, I have took thing with God for granted and I have side track from reading bible and be in communication with God. Some times, when i need help then only I ask God for help. God I am sorry.
I know you are God of many chances, each time I fall, you are there to comfort me and to guide me. Thank you , God . I truly am blessed to know you as my personal savior.
I know I am in deep shit. Something that I can't un-done it again. the guilt and the pain is consistently reminding me that I have side track from God and just act on my own human flesh and my own wishful thinking.
I have let down myself, to my own basic policy. If my parents know it, they will be blown away because from a little girl they have bring me up to not play with fire.

Now, I have burn myself. I am guilty as charge. I feel so remorse sometimes. when I am alone, I started to think, this is not the way that my parent have bring me up. I do not know how to come clean infront of them anymore. The guilt linger in my heart. This is not Hollywood, this Elizabeth a girl who hold on to a basic principles for so long. But now, I let me guide down , and did it anyway. I know that I am big to be an adult, but that does not mean that it is a passport to burn myself and make my heart so guilty.

I am worried of my monthly signals, and I am worried of my blood test. I really pray that everything is going to be alright. I need forgiveness and I know I have been forgiven by God and HE is the person whom give second chance for me.

MOS

tired =) but kinda happy cos get to go into MOS. Finally right? been waiting for so long....now after everything- fun and music...my whole body is aching...hahhahhhahahahha

but never the less, it is nice to meet new ppl, and I finally saw "what is drunk person" all about...

Chelsea and Stefinie =) thanks.

self- reflection

Time alone, is a good time, to clear up your head and do what is necessary for you to improve yourself and enjoy being yourself. it's a reflection of what are your weeks and how are you take it so far.

If all the time you are with friends that would mean that it's good cos you got company but sometimes, there is time to be alone.

I guess that how human are build up to be.

Self Reflection: it's important to know that life is in the blood flowing through one's body. So life is sacred.

Fate

I dreamed about you on friday before my dawn begin. I felt weird but no doubt I was excited, and started to think what is the dream all about. Then I continue as I normally would do for work and at office and going back home.

After reaching home, I started preparing myself for Chairmaine's house warming party. I did not think much about it and I enjoyed myself over at her house.

Hence, while preparing for Chairmaine's house warming party, I was early so I decided to doll up- culler and eye make up. Then after James call for yum cha that night, I was saying ok and I call along Jun Kit and Filbert too.

Then when I arrived at William's corner- I saw you. I look twice to double confirm that you are you. It's really you - YOU. I fumble around my bag to get my handphone to contact James. Then you walk over to come and greet me. I was excited...lolz...dunno why.......but no doubt I felt it's could be something that God is telling ka? We chatted for a while, while waiting for my YC 's kaki friends to arrived until your friends call you back because they need to go back to Nilai. you came all the way from Nilai to fetch your friends' brother and when William's to eat dinner cum supper....I was there for YC, wat a coincident. I still hold the torch for you...just dunno y? evethough (WE) happen long time ago.

I guess it's just FATE.

i am not little any more.

I dislike you. I don't understand y a person can't drive herself in a big town? why? why? your reason is just silly. it's not that I just want a car that y I took up the sale and marketing position. it is not.

don't you think that a car is a necessity? do you? can you meet with customers if you dun have a car? it's very hard to get a public transport and it's time consuming to wait and sit the bus and travel around. it is hard, sometimes, traleving by public transport is tiring. I dun see your point.

ok fine, so what if I am working with a hob that does not required traveling. I will have to wake up early to travel to work and come back later then others because I need to travel by public transport. so you are happy with that la, you don't mind going to bus stop early in the morning and coming back very late at nite and not every place is accessibly with public transport.. I know that somtimes I am unreasonable, but you don't see my point. you dun understand that diffiiculties and you don't see it in my shoe.

i am little any more, you doesn't need to be so fearful that of my safety. I just need a little more space. I am able to take care of myself. i hate you.